As students of an international school, many of us are much too familiar with the feeling of losing amazing friends on a regular basis. I’m not going to sugar coat it; it’s awful in the beginning. The thought of being without certain people is unbearable, and keeping in touch can sometimes seem completely impossible. I know that when my best friend left after freshman year, I was an absolute disaster! Luckily, we made a promise to each other to stay in touch no matter what. Period. Two years later, Yeggi and I are as close as ever! How did we manage to do it? It’s easier than you think.
1. Create a schedule. Often times, friends are carried into dramatically different time zones. Rather than giving up automatically, work out a time that is convenient for both of you and stick with it!
2. Check in AT LEAST once a week. It might not sound like much, but a minimum contact time needs to be set so that falling out of touch will be impossible.
3. Video chat! Skype, Oovoo, Facetime, whatever your personal preference may be…just do it! While instant messaging is awesome, it certainly cannot beat the closeness of an actual conversation. If you have the time, go the extra mile and watch a movie or eat a meal together over a video conversation.
4. Keep messages short, but frequent. Rather than writing monthly summaries, send quick little messages throughout the day. It makes each of you feel like you’re part of one another’s day.
5. Keep them in the loop! If a friend moves away, there’s nothing better than hearing about what’s new back at home. The last thing they’ll want is to visit, only to have realized that everything has changed. Likewise, if you are the one doing the relocating, tell your friend about the things changing around you. They’re guaranteed to be interested, and this way you can integrate them into your new life as opposed to creating a new separate one.
6. Accept that change is inevitable. As location changes, so do people. Don’t let this frustrate you! Prepare yourself from the very beginning that things aren’t going to be as they always were, and that’s ok! Look for and talk about the changes that occur with your friend and yourself. While the two of you may change, your friendship will most definitely not.
7. Plan visits. While our schedules and wallets make this difficult sometimes, visits are absolutely vital in maintaining a strong friendship. All of the above tips are extremely helpful, but none can compare to the excitement of an actual meeting. It doesn’t have to be frequent, but make sure it happens eventually. And having a visiting date makes the time in between pass by so, so much faster.
So before you throw in the towel, remember that sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeggi and I have not only managed to stay in touch, but we’ve also grown much closer. She’s my person: the one I look to when life has gotten to be too much, the one I can trust with the most bizarre of secrets, the one who encourages me to be the best possible version of myself, and the one who accepts me as I come, ugly, pretty, happy, sad…she’s there no matter what! Had we never given long distance a chance, I would be without a person, something I can’t even begin to imagine. Certain friends are simply worth too much to lose, so don’t let it happen!
1. Create a schedule. Often times, friends are carried into dramatically different time zones. Rather than giving up automatically, work out a time that is convenient for both of you and stick with it!
2. Check in AT LEAST once a week. It might not sound like much, but a minimum contact time needs to be set so that falling out of touch will be impossible.
3. Video chat! Skype, Oovoo, Facetime, whatever your personal preference may be…just do it! While instant messaging is awesome, it certainly cannot beat the closeness of an actual conversation. If you have the time, go the extra mile and watch a movie or eat a meal together over a video conversation.
4. Keep messages short, but frequent. Rather than writing monthly summaries, send quick little messages throughout the day. It makes each of you feel like you’re part of one another’s day.
5. Keep them in the loop! If a friend moves away, there’s nothing better than hearing about what’s new back at home. The last thing they’ll want is to visit, only to have realized that everything has changed. Likewise, if you are the one doing the relocating, tell your friend about the things changing around you. They’re guaranteed to be interested, and this way you can integrate them into your new life as opposed to creating a new separate one.
6. Accept that change is inevitable. As location changes, so do people. Don’t let this frustrate you! Prepare yourself from the very beginning that things aren’t going to be as they always were, and that’s ok! Look for and talk about the changes that occur with your friend and yourself. While the two of you may change, your friendship will most definitely not.
7. Plan visits. While our schedules and wallets make this difficult sometimes, visits are absolutely vital in maintaining a strong friendship. All of the above tips are extremely helpful, but none can compare to the excitement of an actual meeting. It doesn’t have to be frequent, but make sure it happens eventually. And having a visiting date makes the time in between pass by so, so much faster.
So before you throw in the towel, remember that sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeggi and I have not only managed to stay in touch, but we’ve also grown much closer. She’s my person: the one I look to when life has gotten to be too much, the one I can trust with the most bizarre of secrets, the one who encourages me to be the best possible version of myself, and the one who accepts me as I come, ugly, pretty, happy, sad…she’s there no matter what! Had we never given long distance a chance, I would be without a person, something I can’t even begin to imagine. Certain friends are simply worth too much to lose, so don’t let it happen!