Advice Column
Dear M,
There is too many things coming at once. SAT, AP, and then finals.....STRESS!!
Can you please tell me a way to not be stressed?
Also, can you give any advice on studying and being prepared for SAT, AP or the finals?
Thank you!
There is too many things coming at once. SAT, AP, and then finals.....STRESS!!
Can you please tell me a way to not be stressed?
Also, can you give any advice on studying and being prepared for SAT, AP or the finals?
Thank you!
Dear Stressed,
The end of the year always seems to be the most stressful. It’s jam packed—like you said—with APs, the SAT, and finals. But, just because your situation is stressed, doesn’t mean that your entire existence has to be.
First off the SAT: It’s the kind of test that there really is no specific way to study for. I would suggest taking a few practice tests before the actual day to familiarize yourself with the type of questions asked and to get comfortable with the whole time limit thing. Once you’ve taken the practice tests, start to focus on areas that you’ve gotten lower scores in. Remember that the SAT is divided into 3 parts: Mathematics, Critical Reading, and Writing. Learn your strong points and feel confident with them and work on those which you feel less prepared about. Also try to keep in mind that SAT scores aren’t everything and that they by no means define who you are as a student or otherwise.
Secondly, AP Test: By now, May, you should have already covered everything you need to cover in class in regard to the AP course you are taking. Because of this you should just relax and trust in all the work you’ve put in the months before. Of course this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t skim through your notes or go over strategies. But you shouldn’t be completely freaking out either. Take out your handy, dandy review book and read through it, or read certain sections that you feel would be most helpful to you. Most importantly just trust in the knowledge you already have acquired. Get to sleep early the week before your test date and go in confident.
Third and finally, finals: Continue to repeat this to yourself “Once finals are over, so is school.” Remember that the closer you are to finals, the closer you get to summer vacation. Use your time on the weekend to study. I know that doesn’t sound super appealing but I suggest going to a coffee shop and actually sitting down to study for a few hours. Use this time so that during the weeks leading up to finals you don’t get overwhelmed with homework, projects, AND studying for your tests.
To relieve stress try going for a walk, running, or biking in between study sessions to get some fresh air. Never study without food or a drink; and most importantly try to maintain a regular sleep time. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do for your emotional state.
Good luck, we know you’ll do well!
-M
The end of the year always seems to be the most stressful. It’s jam packed—like you said—with APs, the SAT, and finals. But, just because your situation is stressed, doesn’t mean that your entire existence has to be.
First off the SAT: It’s the kind of test that there really is no specific way to study for. I would suggest taking a few practice tests before the actual day to familiarize yourself with the type of questions asked and to get comfortable with the whole time limit thing. Once you’ve taken the practice tests, start to focus on areas that you’ve gotten lower scores in. Remember that the SAT is divided into 3 parts: Mathematics, Critical Reading, and Writing. Learn your strong points and feel confident with them and work on those which you feel less prepared about. Also try to keep in mind that SAT scores aren’t everything and that they by no means define who you are as a student or otherwise.
Secondly, AP Test: By now, May, you should have already covered everything you need to cover in class in regard to the AP course you are taking. Because of this you should just relax and trust in all the work you’ve put in the months before. Of course this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t skim through your notes or go over strategies. But you shouldn’t be completely freaking out either. Take out your handy, dandy review book and read through it, or read certain sections that you feel would be most helpful to you. Most importantly just trust in the knowledge you already have acquired. Get to sleep early the week before your test date and go in confident.
Third and finally, finals: Continue to repeat this to yourself “Once finals are over, so is school.” Remember that the closer you are to finals, the closer you get to summer vacation. Use your time on the weekend to study. I know that doesn’t sound super appealing but I suggest going to a coffee shop and actually sitting down to study for a few hours. Use this time so that during the weeks leading up to finals you don’t get overwhelmed with homework, projects, AND studying for your tests.
To relieve stress try going for a walk, running, or biking in between study sessions to get some fresh air. Never study without food or a drink; and most importantly try to maintain a regular sleep time. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do for your emotional state.
Good luck, we know you’ll do well!
-M
Dear M,
I want to poo but I am scared that people are going to make fun of me for taking so long. Where is the best place and how can I get away with this fear?
-Mr. Poo
I want to poo but I am scared that people are going to make fun of me for taking so long. Where is the best place and how can I get away with this fear?
-Mr. Poo
Dear Mr. Poo,
Well, it seems like you’re in a rather...crappy situation. Get it? Putting aside how punny I am (sorry, I had to), you really are in a troublesome situation. My first thought is: there’s no place like home to drop a number two. If it’s a hassle at school, hold it in and wait till you’re home. If you’re worried about your parents, tell them you’re showering.
If you want to play life in expert mode and drop one at school instead, you’re going to have to get creative. First things first, you need to be armed properly .By armed, I mean air freshener/perfume. There is an unwritten rule that there can never be too little perfume when perfume and poop are in the same context. Okay, so there can be too much perfume, but you get what I mean. The amount of air freshener sprayed should approximately equal the amount of body spray an average teenage boy wears (basically, a little too much for comfort). Next, the location at which you will complete your mission is important. The calling of a doodey takes time and we wouldn’t want anyone walking in, so pick the one person bathrooms, not the big ones with many stalls. Also, make sure to flush immediately after the “beat” drops as that will reduce that amount of time for the smell to spread. And yes, “call of doodey” is a legit term, wikipedia agrees: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:English_toilet_slang
The last and final stage is to make sure that no one knows that happened. Listen carefully and wait until no one seems to be outside. Exit discreetly, as if you haven’t potentially stunk up the bathroom and hope to God no one goes into the bathroom right after you. As for your friends or peers, just lie. An average poop time is 3-10 minutes (try to limit it to 5 minutes). If it’s during class, your classmates will be too bored to care and you could say you need to drink water. If it’s during break, say you need to buy food (preferably return with some food in your hands).
For extra advice, I say: there’s no place like Google for answers to questions you don’t want people to know you ask (there’s this handy thing called incognito which stops websites from being recorded in your history). Also, this is a good read: http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/threads/52185-How-to-Poop-at-work-or-school
P.S. Always check for toilet paper. One does not simply drop a poo without checking for toilet paper first.
-M
Well, it seems like you’re in a rather...crappy situation. Get it? Putting aside how punny I am (sorry, I had to), you really are in a troublesome situation. My first thought is: there’s no place like home to drop a number two. If it’s a hassle at school, hold it in and wait till you’re home. If you’re worried about your parents, tell them you’re showering.
If you want to play life in expert mode and drop one at school instead, you’re going to have to get creative. First things first, you need to be armed properly .By armed, I mean air freshener/perfume. There is an unwritten rule that there can never be too little perfume when perfume and poop are in the same context. Okay, so there can be too much perfume, but you get what I mean. The amount of air freshener sprayed should approximately equal the amount of body spray an average teenage boy wears (basically, a little too much for comfort). Next, the location at which you will complete your mission is important. The calling of a doodey takes time and we wouldn’t want anyone walking in, so pick the one person bathrooms, not the big ones with many stalls. Also, make sure to flush immediately after the “beat” drops as that will reduce that amount of time for the smell to spread. And yes, “call of doodey” is a legit term, wikipedia agrees: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:English_toilet_slang
The last and final stage is to make sure that no one knows that happened. Listen carefully and wait until no one seems to be outside. Exit discreetly, as if you haven’t potentially stunk up the bathroom and hope to God no one goes into the bathroom right after you. As for your friends or peers, just lie. An average poop time is 3-10 minutes (try to limit it to 5 minutes). If it’s during class, your classmates will be too bored to care and you could say you need to drink water. If it’s during break, say you need to buy food (preferably return with some food in your hands).
For extra advice, I say: there’s no place like Google for answers to questions you don’t want people to know you ask (there’s this handy thing called incognito which stops websites from being recorded in your history). Also, this is a good read: http://www.ironmagazineforums.com/threads/52185-How-to-Poop-at-work-or-school
P.S. Always check for toilet paper. One does not simply drop a poo without checking for toilet paper first.
-M
Dear M,
I’ve like this guy for a long time but I want to stop feeling something for him because I know there can't be anything between us.... HELP!
-Unrequited
I’ve like this guy for a long time but I want to stop feeling something for him because I know there can't be anything between us.... HELP!
-Unrequited
Dear Unrequited,
This is perhaps one of the hardest things to admit. However, the fact that you recognize that there’s no attraction and want to move on is a step in the right direction. If you read through previous submissions, you’ll see we’ve addressed issues similar to this. Try scrolling through a few and finding which way you think would work best for you. You may want to start distancing yourself, surrounding yourself with friends instead, or taking note of all of their flaws. Just stick to it; setting yourself free is the best thing for you, and as difficult as it may seem in the moment, it will get better with time.
-M
This is perhaps one of the hardest things to admit. However, the fact that you recognize that there’s no attraction and want to move on is a step in the right direction. If you read through previous submissions, you’ll see we’ve addressed issues similar to this. Try scrolling through a few and finding which way you think would work best for you. You may want to start distancing yourself, surrounding yourself with friends instead, or taking note of all of their flaws. Just stick to it; setting yourself free is the best thing for you, and as difficult as it may seem in the moment, it will get better with time.
-M
Dear M,
A couple of days ago, I realized that the boy I like likes my best friend. I'm trying to stay away from him to erase my love affection towards him, but I just can't do it because we're in the same class. Could you please give me some advice?
A couple of days ago, I realized that the boy I like likes my best friend. I'm trying to stay away from him to erase my love affection towards him, but I just can't do it because we're in the same class. Could you please give me some advice?
Dear Crush,
It must have been hard for you to realize this, especially since that person is your best friend. If you want to distance yourself from him, try to avoid looking at him. Pay attention to something or someone else instead of staring at him. Looking at him will just make your affection stronger. When you do look at him, think about all of his flaws—everyone has them.
If you are looking for more help, look at our previous advices. You will come across a similar problem as yours.
Remember, there are more fish in the sea! Hope all goes well!
-M
It must have been hard for you to realize this, especially since that person is your best friend. If you want to distance yourself from him, try to avoid looking at him. Pay attention to something or someone else instead of staring at him. Looking at him will just make your affection stronger. When you do look at him, think about all of his flaws—everyone has them.
If you are looking for more help, look at our previous advices. You will come across a similar problem as yours.
Remember, there are more fish in the sea! Hope all goes well!
-M
Dear M,
I find the traffic getting to school and home again each day extremely stressful. Do you have any tips for me on how to manage that stress while in the car?
Thanks!
-Traffic-Troubled Teacher
I find the traffic getting to school and home again each day extremely stressful. Do you have any tips for me on how to manage that stress while in the car?
Thanks!
-Traffic-Troubled Teacher
Dear Traffic-Troubled Teacher,
We completely agree; traffic is an absolute nightmare. However, you shouldn’t let it frustrate you. There are several measures you can take to reduce your stress level while driving.
Here are a few:
1. Try leaving earlier. Traffic gets worse by the minute. If you are able to avoid rush hour, try to.
2. Listen to music. Your favorite songs can calm you down and serve as a distraction.
3. Bring a snack. If you can, save a light breakfast or late lunch for the car ride. It’s better to focus on a meal, something you enjoy, rather than the traffic.
4. Breathe. Meditation will allow you to think not about the traffic, but about yourself. Take this time to reflect on your day and what you hope to accomplish. Chances are you are too busy throughout your day to take any other time for yourself. Or if you have a passenger use this time to bond with them.
5. Enjoy your surroundings. Not only is the scenery in Guatemala breathtaking, but you are surrounded by roughly 50 other people who are in the exact same situation. Have fun by observing the other drivers and maybe even create stories about them. For example, that man beside you is named Kevin and he is a zoo keeper.
-M
We completely agree; traffic is an absolute nightmare. However, you shouldn’t let it frustrate you. There are several measures you can take to reduce your stress level while driving.
Here are a few:
1. Try leaving earlier. Traffic gets worse by the minute. If you are able to avoid rush hour, try to.
2. Listen to music. Your favorite songs can calm you down and serve as a distraction.
3. Bring a snack. If you can, save a light breakfast or late lunch for the car ride. It’s better to focus on a meal, something you enjoy, rather than the traffic.
4. Breathe. Meditation will allow you to think not about the traffic, but about yourself. Take this time to reflect on your day and what you hope to accomplish. Chances are you are too busy throughout your day to take any other time for yourself. Or if you have a passenger use this time to bond with them.
5. Enjoy your surroundings. Not only is the scenery in Guatemala breathtaking, but you are surrounded by roughly 50 other people who are in the exact same situation. Have fun by observing the other drivers and maybe even create stories about them. For example, that man beside you is named Kevin and he is a zoo keeper.
-M
Dear M,
Since all of these asks are about crushes, here goes another one: I really like this guy but I know he's probably not interested in me...how do I get over it?
-Numb Hearted
Since all of these asks are about crushes, here goes another one: I really like this guy but I know he's probably not interested in me...how do I get over it?
-Numb Hearted
Dear Numb Hearted,
We’ve all been in that situation and we’re sorry that you are facing it now. What you must first do, begin to distance yourself. The less time you spend around him, the less strong your attraction will be. The worse thing you can be is to be too clingy. The best thing you can do is not take it too personally. One of the hardest facts of life is to admit that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay. The ones who matter the most will see you and love you for who you are. This is not your only shot at love; there will be others. So don’t worry! Continue being yourself and someone else will catch your eye soon enough.
Hope all goes well!
-M
We’ve all been in that situation and we’re sorry that you are facing it now. What you must first do, begin to distance yourself. The less time you spend around him, the less strong your attraction will be. The worse thing you can be is to be too clingy. The best thing you can do is not take it too personally. One of the hardest facts of life is to admit that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay. The ones who matter the most will see you and love you for who you are. This is not your only shot at love; there will be others. So don’t worry! Continue being yourself and someone else will catch your eye soon enough.
Hope all goes well!
-M
Dear M,
One of my best friends is a girl, and we're really close. Lately, I'm getting a feeling that she likes me, but I don't feel the same way. It's kinda uncomfortable. What should I do?
One of my best friends is a girl, and we're really close. Lately, I'm getting a feeling that she likes me, but I don't feel the same way. It's kinda uncomfortable. What should I do?
Dear Uncomfortable,
First things first, be careful not to assume too much. For all you know, your best friend isn’t in love with you. That aside, seeing as though she is your best friend and you’re really close, chances are you know her really well and you may just be correct about her liking you. If she does like you, there’s not much you can really do to stop her from liking you. For now, continue your friendship normally. I understand that you feel uncomfortable about her liking you, especially since you don’t return those feelings. However, if she confesses that she likes you, don’t be pressured to feel the same way- just like feelings of attraction don’t just stop when we want them to, they can’t be forced. In fact, if that time does come, be honest and gentle about how you feel and don’t let your discomfort cause you to say words that you might want to take back. Also, don’t let your friends force you into a relationship with her- this will never, I mean never, work out. Lastly, again, the discomfort you are feeling is due to the pressure that you have to reciprocate those feelings, but you don’t have to. I think once you realize that even if you are unable to feel the same way she does, you can still be close friends, a lot of the discomfort will be gone.
P.S. Just be careful to not lead her on the wrong way. Make sure you are definite in that you don’t like her in that way—because chances are, after some time, she will move on to someone else. And when she does, you need to be supportive and not pull a I-just-realized-I’m-in-love-with-my-best-friend-who-I-rejected-now-I’ll-tell-her-my-feelings-and-confuse-her.
-M
First things first, be careful not to assume too much. For all you know, your best friend isn’t in love with you. That aside, seeing as though she is your best friend and you’re really close, chances are you know her really well and you may just be correct about her liking you. If she does like you, there’s not much you can really do to stop her from liking you. For now, continue your friendship normally. I understand that you feel uncomfortable about her liking you, especially since you don’t return those feelings. However, if she confesses that she likes you, don’t be pressured to feel the same way- just like feelings of attraction don’t just stop when we want them to, they can’t be forced. In fact, if that time does come, be honest and gentle about how you feel and don’t let your discomfort cause you to say words that you might want to take back. Also, don’t let your friends force you into a relationship with her- this will never, I mean never, work out. Lastly, again, the discomfort you are feeling is due to the pressure that you have to reciprocate those feelings, but you don’t have to. I think once you realize that even if you are unable to feel the same way she does, you can still be close friends, a lot of the discomfort will be gone.
P.S. Just be careful to not lead her on the wrong way. Make sure you are definite in that you don’t like her in that way—because chances are, after some time, she will move on to someone else. And when she does, you need to be supportive and not pull a I-just-realized-I’m-in-love-with-my-best-friend-who-I-rejected-now-I’ll-tell-her-my-feelings-and-confuse-her.
-M
Dear M,
I like this guy, but whenever I am with him, I just can't look at him in the eye and speak to him. Can you give me some advice?
I like this guy, but whenever I am with him, I just can't look at him in the eye and speak to him. Can you give me some advice?
Dear Nervous,
We've been there, trust us, and we know how hard of a situation this is. You must like him an awful lot if it's this hard to look him in the eyes and talk. But if you want this to go anywhere you are going to have to try. Baby steps are key. First things first, you need to assess your people skills in general. Do you ever have these problem with others? If so, then we have a bigger fish to fry. Eye contact is key to any conversation so it's an important skill to have. Because of this we believe it's necessary to provide a list of what NOT to do.
1. Don't imitate a deer in the headlights. Remember to blink, keep your face relaxed, and try not to look surprised or scared.
2. Keep the eye contact in intervals. If you never take your eyes off him, it gets a little weird. So after a few seconds of conversation just casually glance to the side or above his head, anywhere. After that break you may resume eye contact.
Now onto the speaking part; once you have the eye contact down, the actual conversation should come naturally. It's not going to be perfect, but that's okay because it's honest and genuine—which is all you can be when you're hoping for someone to like you.
Let us know how it goes!
-M
We've been there, trust us, and we know how hard of a situation this is. You must like him an awful lot if it's this hard to look him in the eyes and talk. But if you want this to go anywhere you are going to have to try. Baby steps are key. First things first, you need to assess your people skills in general. Do you ever have these problem with others? If so, then we have a bigger fish to fry. Eye contact is key to any conversation so it's an important skill to have. Because of this we believe it's necessary to provide a list of what NOT to do.
1. Don't imitate a deer in the headlights. Remember to blink, keep your face relaxed, and try not to look surprised or scared.
2. Keep the eye contact in intervals. If you never take your eyes off him, it gets a little weird. So after a few seconds of conversation just casually glance to the side or above his head, anywhere. After that break you may resume eye contact.
Now onto the speaking part; once you have the eye contact down, the actual conversation should come naturally. It's not going to be perfect, but that's okay because it's honest and genuine—which is all you can be when you're hoping for someone to like you.
Let us know how it goes!
-M
M,
Lately I've been noticing a mood change surrounding our class. Maybe a few weeks past people seemed livelier and up to have fun, but now it doesn't seem so. I also feel as if my friends are drifting apart from me, and it seems as if every classmate is putting up a front to hide their true thoughts about others. Am I just being paranoid? Should I disregard these thoughts and brush them off of my shoulder? I've been quite concerned about this and I needed a pillow to rest on and comfort me.
-Aaron Fox
Lately I've been noticing a mood change surrounding our class. Maybe a few weeks past people seemed livelier and up to have fun, but now it doesn't seem so. I also feel as if my friends are drifting apart from me, and it seems as if every classmate is putting up a front to hide their true thoughts about others. Am I just being paranoid? Should I disregard these thoughts and brush them off of my shoulder? I've been quite concerned about this and I needed a pillow to rest on and comfort me.
-Aaron Fox
Dear Aaron Fox,
From what we can gather, you are really concerned about your fellow classmates, which is very sweet. The best we can do is to attempt to console you, and offer a couple of pointers for advice.
First of all, we, for one, have noticed a definite negative change around the school as a whole, something most likely due to something called the ‘third quarter effect’. Something is always hardest when you are three quarters of the way completed with it. This, I’m sure, you can understand. The school year is coming close to the end, but this is the hardest part. School is pretty dreadful right now. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It just is.
How can you help? Should you ignore this? Well, you can ignore this if you want, but if you really don’t, the best way you can do to help is to just enjoy time with your friends—it will be greatly appreciated. We have observed that everyone has too much work, not enough patience, and everything is going downhill. Spend more time with your friends, organize fun things to do with them, chill with them during lunch—just try to have fun with your friends. Take a break from all your work. We think that you will all feel better at the end.
-M
From what we can gather, you are really concerned about your fellow classmates, which is very sweet. The best we can do is to attempt to console you, and offer a couple of pointers for advice.
First of all, we, for one, have noticed a definite negative change around the school as a whole, something most likely due to something called the ‘third quarter effect’. Something is always hardest when you are three quarters of the way completed with it. This, I’m sure, you can understand. The school year is coming close to the end, but this is the hardest part. School is pretty dreadful right now. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It just is.
How can you help? Should you ignore this? Well, you can ignore this if you want, but if you really don’t, the best way you can do to help is to just enjoy time with your friends—it will be greatly appreciated. We have observed that everyone has too much work, not enough patience, and everything is going downhill. Spend more time with your friends, organize fun things to do with them, chill with them during lunch—just try to have fun with your friends. Take a break from all your work. We think that you will all feel better at the end.
-M
Dear M,
I have a friend that I consider as my best friend, but I don’t know if she thinks the same way. What should I do?
I have a friend that I consider as my best friend, but I don’t know if she thinks the same way. What should I do?
Dear Unsure,
You have approached a question that many of us have asked ourselves at one point. Are we friends, close friends, best friends, or BFFs? There’s only one way to find out! Ask her...preferably during an appropriate time. If you’re too scared to come out and just say it, try to lead into it. For example, start off talking about friendship in general. Then, talk about how good of a friend you consider him or her to be. See how they respond. If they sit there awkwardly or brush off your comments, it’s probably a no. However, if they agree and show enthusiasm, you can assume that the feeling is mutual. Regardless of how they feel about you, as long as you are happy around them, nothing else matters. We’re all different and some of us take longer to decide if someone is best friend material or not.
-M
You have approached a question that many of us have asked ourselves at one point. Are we friends, close friends, best friends, or BFFs? There’s only one way to find out! Ask her...preferably during an appropriate time. If you’re too scared to come out and just say it, try to lead into it. For example, start off talking about friendship in general. Then, talk about how good of a friend you consider him or her to be. See how they respond. If they sit there awkwardly or brush off your comments, it’s probably a no. However, if they agree and show enthusiasm, you can assume that the feeling is mutual. Regardless of how they feel about you, as long as you are happy around them, nothing else matters. We’re all different and some of us take longer to decide if someone is best friend material or not.
-M
M,
I like this girl, but she does not like me. Can you give me some advice?
I like this girl, but she does not like me. Can you give me some advice?
Dear Lover Boy,
First things first—do not be too clingy. That will only backfire. Remember, you cannot force anyone to like you. The best thing you can do is not take it to heart. This is not your only shot at love; there will be others. So don’t worry! Carry on being yourself,and be as much of a gentleman as possible. Maybe she will come to like you, or maybe she won’t. Only time will tell. Either way, hang in there, and best of luck!
-M
First things first—do not be too clingy. That will only backfire. Remember, you cannot force anyone to like you. The best thing you can do is not take it to heart. This is not your only shot at love; there will be others. So don’t worry! Carry on being yourself,and be as much of a gentleman as possible. Maybe she will come to like you, or maybe she won’t. Only time will tell. Either way, hang in there, and best of luck!
-M
M,
My best friend has a crush on this amazing guy, and while trying to help her get closer to him I ended up liking him too as we started to talk to each other every time more and more. How can I get over him without making things between each other awkward or me acting like I hate him?!
My best friend has a crush on this amazing guy, and while trying to help her get closer to him I ended up liking him too as we started to talk to each other every time more and more. How can I get over him without making things between each other awkward or me acting like I hate him?!
Dear Midpoint,
We'll be honest; your situation is not a great one to be in. You might not like our answer but it's going to be the safest approach. The number one thing that came to our minds when we read your submission was the Girl Code, "sisters before misters", or to put it in a more gender-neutral way, put your friends before romance. Since your friend admitted to crushing on this "amazing guy" first, she pretty much has dibs. We're glad that you've realized this. So now let's focus on how to move on. First, remember why you started talking to this guy in the first place; it wasn't for you, it was for your best friend. It could be that through assisting your friend with this guy her point of view clouded your original feelings, raising him on a pedestal that really isn't there. This will make it easier to move on because you'll know that you are helping your friend. Next, focus on his flaws. Chances are he is not that amazing after all, and more specifically, not that amazing for you. Third, start distancing yourself from this guy, that doesn't mean you have to hate him.
"Do you want to go to lunch with us?"
"No thanks, I'm busy."
"Do you want to go to the movies?"
"I can't. Why don't you go with ___?"
Up to this point it sounds like you are the midpoint of the conversation between your friend and this guy. Remove yourself from this equation by encouraging them to start talking directly to each other. It's not your duty to bring them together. If your friend likes him enough, she needs to step up and start talking to him. You've already done more than enough. Lastly, keep your mind open to new possibilities. Sooner than you know it, someone will come along who will make you wonder why you even considered liking this other guy. And the best part will be that you won't have to worry about hurting your best friend.
Keep us updated if the situation changes.
-M
We'll be honest; your situation is not a great one to be in. You might not like our answer but it's going to be the safest approach. The number one thing that came to our minds when we read your submission was the Girl Code, "sisters before misters", or to put it in a more gender-neutral way, put your friends before romance. Since your friend admitted to crushing on this "amazing guy" first, she pretty much has dibs. We're glad that you've realized this. So now let's focus on how to move on. First, remember why you started talking to this guy in the first place; it wasn't for you, it was for your best friend. It could be that through assisting your friend with this guy her point of view clouded your original feelings, raising him on a pedestal that really isn't there. This will make it easier to move on because you'll know that you are helping your friend. Next, focus on his flaws. Chances are he is not that amazing after all, and more specifically, not that amazing for you. Third, start distancing yourself from this guy, that doesn't mean you have to hate him.
"Do you want to go to lunch with us?"
"No thanks, I'm busy."
"Do you want to go to the movies?"
"I can't. Why don't you go with ___?"
Up to this point it sounds like you are the midpoint of the conversation between your friend and this guy. Remove yourself from this equation by encouraging them to start talking directly to each other. It's not your duty to bring them together. If your friend likes him enough, she needs to step up and start talking to him. You've already done more than enough. Lastly, keep your mind open to new possibilities. Sooner than you know it, someone will come along who will make you wonder why you even considered liking this other guy. And the best part will be that you won't have to worry about hurting your best friend.
Keep us updated if the situation changes.
-M
Hey M,
I am about to finish Sophomore Year and I don't know what to do. Everyone seems to have a plan, but I don't. I hear Junior Year is the hardest and you should have an idea about college, but I don't. What should I do?
-Clueless
I am about to finish Sophomore Year and I don't know what to do. Everyone seems to have a plan, but I don't. I hear Junior Year is the hardest and you should have an idea about college, but I don't. What should I do?
-Clueless
Dear Clueless,
Don't panic. Getting overwhelmed will only worsen your situation. First, if you feel unsure about what you want to do, try participating in a wide variety of activities. Put yourself out there-you might surprise yourself and find something you like. As far as junior year goes, it's only as difficult as you make it. Use your time wisely and it'll all come together. Even some seniors don't know what they want to do. There's plenty of time. You can talk to an advisor about it and they'll help you develop a game plan.
-M
Don't panic. Getting overwhelmed will only worsen your situation. First, if you feel unsure about what you want to do, try participating in a wide variety of activities. Put yourself out there-you might surprise yourself and find something you like. As far as junior year goes, it's only as difficult as you make it. Use your time wisely and it'll all come together. Even some seniors don't know what they want to do. There's plenty of time. You can talk to an advisor about it and they'll help you develop a game plan.
-M
M,
My friends are all skinny and I feel fat around them. I tried to do all types of things...diet and exercise...even starving :( Any advice?
My friends are all skinny and I feel fat around them. I tried to do all types of things...diet and exercise...even starving :( Any advice?
Dear Insecure,
First things first, don’t starve yourself. Remember that everyone is born with different body types-we’re all unique and it’s not fair to yourself to compare your body with others. The most important thing is that you are healthy. Rather than starving and dieting excessively, try to find a routine that will suit you. Exercise at a comfortable level. If you don’t really know how to go about doing this, talk to your gym teacher or your doctor. You could also sign up at a gym, where there are programs that will create a tailor made healthy routine for you. The healthier you are, physically and mentally, the better you feel about yourself. The chances are the way you see yourself is not how others see you.
Take a look at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
-M
First things first, don’t starve yourself. Remember that everyone is born with different body types-we’re all unique and it’s not fair to yourself to compare your body with others. The most important thing is that you are healthy. Rather than starving and dieting excessively, try to find a routine that will suit you. Exercise at a comfortable level. If you don’t really know how to go about doing this, talk to your gym teacher or your doctor. You could also sign up at a gym, where there are programs that will create a tailor made healthy routine for you. The healthier you are, physically and mentally, the better you feel about yourself. The chances are the way you see yourself is not how others see you.
Take a look at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE
-M